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Necroskamicon

by The Land Before Tim

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1.
Accidental Telepathy: The environment is fucked Resources unrenewable I know that I can heal the wound With science true and beautiful "Months of tireless toiling has rendered fruit unto me. My experiments with human sourced energy forge endless possibilities. Brain powered phones and heartbeat power tools, clean and pure" Down within the deepest dark I saw the light above I have seen a different way A shining path a brighter day All across the world the dreamers Wake to the sleeping song "Blessings wrapped in calamity, caught in a rogue current I felt my brain die and arise with telepathic power. All are one and all bend to me. All life force is mine." Down within the deepest dark I saw the light above You cant hide from me Not even in your dreams I know Everything I've been walking through your mind
2.
Captain Blackbone Versus Marty The Twisting Kiloclops: There was a black ship with blacker sails Made of the roughest wood and the toughest nails Every couple hundred years or so the black flag will fly and the crew will go "The devils crew is what we be. Doomed to sail the 7 seas. You cannot drown what does not breathe. Earthly souls be what we thieve." Across the sea a fog appeared but the skeletons they felt no fear Up from the depths a beast arose with a thousand eyes screaming "What are those?" The skeletons with rusty blades gazed upon the beast unphased And hacked at tentacles that gripped and tried to sink the mighty ship Suddenly the Captain woke with joint in hand he took a toke Lightning strikes and thunder crashed and then the captain spoke YOUR DOOM HAS COME Hoist the mast Cannons blast Give your last Bust your ass The monster was a kiloclops, thirsty for some ghostly hops A brew to quell the beast within and satisfy his need to sin The pirate ship the beast was told, had many gallons in its hold But but by the firey end of battle, he was slaughtered just like cattle Upon the deck the pirates dance and echoed out unholy chants From Africa to Barbados, all they meet become a ghost Within the holds are shrunken heads and spectral ales in ancient kegs No need for gold in the other realm, on this ship death has the helm
3.
Battlephilia 04:23
Battlephilia: When you hear my battle cry You'll know that all my foes will die Faces kiss my battle axe And armored bones begin to crack I dont need books and i dont need college I eat brains to gain my knowledge Veterans or new recruits All will be scraped off my boots Battlephilia I Just wanna kill Battlephilia You probably should run Riding upon woodland beasts And bringing out my blades to feast Blood and flesh I'll have my fill Just look at all these men to kill Longboats up and down your shores Upon your town my allies pour Shining steel cries out for more Today I'll beat my old high score
4.
Last Goodbye 03:12
Last Goodbye: Hello Is anybody there Is there someone who is sincere with Claims they need to get outta here Cause I'm gone I need to leave this place So much too little has been said and done We said we'd move on but still spinning re-runs I'm lost with nowhere left to go Can't breathe I choke and pace the floor Is this the house I once called my home And I'm gone with nothing no goodbyes I'll be running fast with one finger high Nothing here was ever worth my time Same old streets and clenched teeth Vacant scenes taunt restless dreams This town bites like a parasite Latchin' to your back it'll tag you with a bulls eye So this is my last goodbye So long to all to stay behind We had fun while it lasted But these days are now feeling stagnant And all wrong When it happens you have seen it First stuck in a rut then turn complaisant
5.
Skapocalypse Now: A cacophonous sound echoes forth Deep in the ground the ska gods awaken Ending an eon of sleep To make sure that mountains a butts are shaking The dead rise up and skank the cities to dust Sea to steam, sand to glass, guitars scream and symbols crash Everyones moving, everyones grooving This is skapocalypse now The ground opens up to reveal A brass born titan bright with elation Looking for ears to enslave His rhythms and jams will end all creation The dead rise up and skank the cities to dust
6.
Betty The Yeti: Im feelin kinda lonely these days and Im thinkin I gotta find me a lady, whos not just into drinkin So I download an app when Im crying at night And spent the darkest hours swiping left and right Oh why oh why cant I find the one Finally a chick reached out to me With bright blue eyes and some dank selfies Her profile said that she was 8 foot 5 I asked if she would be the peanut butter to my knife We really got to talkin bout our goals in life A suburban existence far from all the strife Holy shit hawk let her be the one She asked me to meet up and at first i hesitated But eventually said fuck it its bout time that I dated I said I know this place thats down the street Where you can get a ham that cant be beat Waited for an hour and she never came CATFISHED AGAIN I got up to leave when I caught a smell Looked and saw a creature that was straight from hell She said "My name is Betty please dont run and yell. I know I may look evil but I got a story to tell." Lord I hope that someone has a gun When I tired to run bro you know she grabbed my neck Sat my damn ass down and told me of her treck It sounded kinda interesting I cannot lie But that shits a story for another time When she got to the end I started to cry Took her to my place, made her feel sublime And we made love What can I say I made love to a yet She stands 8 foot 5 and her name is Betti Snow white fur and skin like Ice She looks like a beast, but shes hella nice and we made love
7.
Abducted 02:37
Abducted: I wanna be abducted, up to the stars Alien friends please take me far I need to get away from here, beam me up through the atmosphere Dematerialize me break my cells And rearrange them somewhere else This earthly lifes just not for me I want to see the galaxy I wanna be abducted Sitting in my backyard with a telescope Searching for my only hope A UFO passing by that can levitate me into the sky I know theres something out there, I wanna believe That you can be Roger and I can be Steve This earthly lifes just not for me I want to see the galaxy
8.
Charlene 02:47
Charlene: When Charlene opens her mouth It's like a pestilential toxic cloud Nobody wants her around Because demons come out of her mouth She used to run with the cool kids crowd Till she met a demon manifested in shroud Who punished her for her spiteful ways She'll speak evil till the end of her days Charlene, shut the fuck up! Deep in Charlene the mortal is a gateway from hell to earth Demons come through the portal no matter their unholy girth Where Charlene goes no one can follow Where Charlene goes all life is swallowed Where Charlene goes I dare not tread Where Charlene goes she wakes the dead Charlene Charlene I will never forget about you Charlene Charlene We'll remember everything you do
9.
The Flying Skaghetti Monster: La dee da dee da dee da dee da la la la la la la la la la la la la la Wo ooo wo o o o o La la la la la la la la la la la la la God? NOO! Flying skaghetti monster Flying skaghetti monster Flying skaghetti monster I'm in love with you
10.
The Dark Brotherhood: Here we are great renewer Through whom all spreads eternal we offer you this life so you may teperate in your flame and forge them anew I can see her face I can hear her name The deathly sweet embrace The kiss to end my pain In the void there is nothing for you boy Your mind is just a silhouette Who wouldve thought that oblivion Was a preferable fate to get With just your eyes you can describe The emptiness you feel inside Its blood she drinks her belly's full The void will open up and swallow you whole The dark brotherhood does not disappoint, their work is known throughout the land Your time is up, the deal is sealed, by the members of the Black Hand The ritual the black sacrament the contract that was signed in blood You turn around to a whistling sound, a knife appears with a dull thud Suddenly you exhale drowning lost words Your presence is requested by the dreadlord
11.
Satan: Im in love with Satan and I want to bear his children Satan has his wishes and I want to fulfill them Every time he looks at me His inferno gaze I feel it in my soul S-A-T-A-N Satan Im in love with Satan cuzz he lets me win at X-Box I'm in love with Satan cuzz he likes to jam to Dethklok Every night after light We play bean bags and drink beers with the moon

about

First full length album!

credits

released October 27, 2017

All songs written and preformed by The Land Before Tim*

Vocals: Jake Adanedhel
Guitar: Cody Michaels
Bass: Sam Kruse
Trombone: Ty Staehlin
Trumpet: Melissa Neff
Tenor Saxophone: Trevor Hill
Drums: Dennis Tynan

Recorded and mixed by Dennis Tynan
Mastered by John Scrip at Massive Mastering
Album art by All Things Rotten

(*)'Last Goodbye' adopted and rewritten from unreleased song by Cody's old band AOK. Credit for original composition due to Bobby Warneke.

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The Land Before Tim Chicago, Illinois

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